My South Park Top Ten: Worst Episodes

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Let the countdown begin!!

 

Hey guys, its your girl KrisSimsters and I’ve decided to give you my list for the worst episodes of South Park because you can’t have the best without having the worst and as much as I love South Park, there are some bad episodes within the show. Of course, the same rules apply in this one just like my last list:

  • TWO OR THREE PARTERS WILL BE COUNTED AS ONE!!
  • MY LIST, MY OPINION!!
  • LEAVE NICE COMMENTS!!
  • ALMOST ALL THE EPISODES ARE AVAILABLE ON HULU!!
  • I’LL TRY AND BE AS SPOIL-FREE AS POSSIBLE!!

Alright then, lets get started!!


 

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God-damnit…

TOP TEN WORST:

#10: I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining (16×06): I don’t know why some people like this episode, but I absolutely hate it. It starts out with the boys trying to figure out how to spend the last day of Spring Break when it recommended that they go Ziplining.

The overall trip for them is very boring. The pacing in this episode is also really bad and the live-action versions of the main four as either in their later teens-young adults is really off-putting. I’m glad this came out before Grounded Vindaloop because Matt and Trey learned from their live-action mistakes. Moving onwards.

#9: Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina (09×01): I want this episode to burn and die, never to be touched again. I don’t know what’s worst, Kyle wanting to be black or Gerald wanting to be a dolphin.First of all, Mr. Garrison wants to be a woman and I’m not mad at that, I respect that, but since this is South Park, they have to take some joy out of this someway and that’s where Kyle and Gerald comes in.

Kyle wants to try out for the Colorado all-state basketball team, but he doesn’t make the team because he’s too short, not black, and Jewish (according to Cartman). When the boys encounter Mrs. Garrison at the drug store, they accept her  change and Kyle tries to convince his parents to get a negroplasty. They don’t want him to get the negroplasty and Gerald goes down to the same surgeon who granted Ms. Garrison with her sex change.

The surgeon manipulates Gerald with a pleasure of a dolphinplasty, and after Gerald had his operation, he allows Kyle to get his. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison is having a hard time adjusting to being a woman and wants to become a man again. Only problem is…Ms. Garrison’s scrotum is now Gerald’s dorsal fin and her testicles are now Kyle’s kneecaps and without these, Ms. Garrison can’t be a man again. As I’ve stated before, I want this episode to burn and die. I want it to be killed with fire.

#8: Red Hot Catholic Love (06×08): OK, lets get this over with, I want to get this one out the way now. I hate this episode, just like I hate all these episodes and it should be at #1, but I found a more disgustingly painful episode to put at that #1 spot, so lets just do this. After the parents of South Park are concerned about their children’s safety in the church, they decide to no longer go to church.

When a counselor asks them if Father Maxi has ever put anything up their butts, Cartman gets the “brilliant” idea of eating in reverse by showing food up their asses and pooping out of their mouths. Just thinking about this idea makes me sick, I’m sure that Father Maxi’s plot was a brilliant one, but the thought of everybody eating reverse bothers me. And yes, I know that this is South Park, but I can’t stomach everything the show does. I’m glad Craig left when he did.

#7: Jakovasaurs (03×04): When I started this list out, I didn’t know where this episode was going to be placed. Was it going to be placed higher or lower? How bad was this episode? Number 7 is a good spot because while its bad, its not, “Kill it with fire,” bad. This episode starts out with the main four going camping at Stark’s Pond when Cartman has to go to the bathroom and since its nature, nature is your bathroom.

While doing his business, a creature comes out of the woods and the boys have to chase after it. Once the creature is captured and is inside the South Park police station, its revealed to be a Jakovasaur and the next 22 minutes are turned into a living hell. Cartman’s personal friend, Jakov, alone is annoying, not times that by 50 and you’ll have to mute the TV after at least five minutes. Jakov is just annoying.

#6: Stanley’s Cup (10×14): OK, truth time, I actually like this episode, but a lot of people have declared this episode boring and after watching it again for this review, I can see why people don’t like this episode. Somewhere between season four and season fourteen, Stan started getting out-shadowed, by his own father. In order to solve this, Matt and Trey tried to bring some life back into Stan. The Stan-focused episodes were either hits or misses, but Stanley’s Cup was by far one of the worst.

The main point of this episode was supposed to be a parody of feel-good summer movies like The Mighty Ducks, but it was definitely a fail. Stan takes a job as a newspaper delivery boy, but its hard to do both your job and school, especially if you have to get up early in the morning. While this is happening, Stan’s bike is getting towed. With no bike, he can’t do his job and if he can’t do his job, then he’s going to get fired. Stan’s last hope to save his bike and his job is to host a Pee-Wee hockey team. From here we get this annoyance and if I’m being honest, this episode wouldn’t be on this list if it wasn’t for the ending. The kindergartners get destroyed and their friend, Nelson dies because his point of living was based on whether or not the team would win. This episode is too depressing, lets move on.

#5: Smug Alert! (10×02): Oh goody, another episode where Gerald is written out of characterization? Sounds like fun!! Honestly though, the only reason this episode isn’t placed any lower on the list is because the ending is decent. The episode starts out with Gerald being smug about the fact that he’s got a new Pious and he shows off to the rest of the town. Before we got any further, let me address this. The Broflovskis aren’t the richest family in South Park. Token’s family is. If anything, this plot could have worked better if Token’s family was the one acting smug. Because they would at least have a reason to act that way since their rich. Would Token’s family moved out of South Park? Probably not, which is why we got the plot we got.

Anyway, not feeling like South Park isn’t “right” for them anymore, Gerald decides to move the family to San Francisco. Kyle, understandingly, isn’t happy with this and neither is Stan, but Gerald says the only way he’ll probably come back is if Stan gets everybody to switch cars. After writing a song about this and getting people to switch over to Pious cars and starts to get smug like Gerald used to be. This causes a huge smug cloud to form and destroy South Park and San Francisco.

Remember how I said the only reason this episode wasn’t down any lower was because the ending was decent? Well here’s why; Cartman (who at this point is tired of Butters being his sub for Kyle) decides to go to San Francisco and rescues the Broflovskis from dying in this smug storm. Only Cartman and Butters knows this however, because the rest of the town was dealing with the smug storm and the Brofloskis were strung out on “smug” and acid. Yes, it was also a Status Quo is God moment, but still out of all the episodes I’ve listed so far, its the only one with a decent ending.

#4: You’re not Yelping (19×04): This episode was actually a good episode in season 19, really good. So why is it on this list? Because of the ending with that song, that song is just disgusting. Honestly, its just disturbing. Don’t believe me? Here you go:

Sad thing is, its actually true.

#3: Imagintionland (11×10-11×12): Goddamn this arc. This is the only arc I don’t like, it feels like everybody was out of character in this episode, expect that they were exactly in character. First of all; the whole subplot with Kyle having to suck Cartman’s balls was funny at first, but I got tired of it by the time act three rolled in. Second of all, the main plot was kinda boring and stupid. And it also brings back Al Gore and Manbearpig, which needed to die from its original episode, Manbearpig and that got tedious too. All in all, this episode sucks…it just sucks and if I have to see it on my TV one more time during holiday season, I’m just going to throw something at it. Moving on.

#2: Grounded Vindaloop (18×07): Many people thought season 18 was a goldmine, calling it a perfect season (something that hadn’t happened in a while before this season), but even a goldmine would have a few coals in it and in this case Grounded Vindaloop is its coal. This episode was just boring and bad with the boys getting trapped in a virtual reality. I would also called this the “F*** You” episode since they keep repeating the phrase over and over. There’s also an annoying customer service rep and all in all, this was just a bland episode.

Before we get into #1, let me just say that what your about see is the most disgusting piece of crap we’ve ever seen. If you are a South Park fan, then you might know what episode I’m about to mention. Are you ready?

#1: More Crap (11×09): Randy episodes used to be so good, but the further he burst out as a character, the worst the episodes got. This is the main episode I have a huge problem with, I felt like Sharron throughout the whole episode. Let me tell you what I’m talking about. The episodes start out with Randy (who was constipated because he ate a lot of P.F. Chang’s) taking a crap in the bathroom and its the largest crap he’s ever taken.

He’s so invested in the crap that he not only tells Stan, but also Jimbo and the rest of the men in South Park about it. The crap is so huge that it becomes a world record, beating out its previous holder; Bono. F***ing Bono!! Anyway, at the awards ceremony, Bono comes in via video message and tells everybody else that he’s created a bigger crap. This leaves Randy in a depressive state until the other men convince him to make a larger crap. When Bono discovers that Randy is going to create a larger crap, he’s destined to create a much larger crap. Stan goes to Bono and asks him to back off, but Bono refuses.

On the day of the ceremony in Zurich, Stan tells everybody that Bono is the actual record (a secret he learned from Bono’s butler) and by this point, I’m disturbed, but determined to get through this. Randy craps and he craps so much that he shoots upwards, making him the new record holder.


 

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I never want to watch these episodes again, I’m done with these episodes. Stay golden, guys and remember:

13lr7lu

-Follow me on Tumblr @stoleythegeek

-Follow me on Twitter @KrisSimsters

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