Hey guys, it’s your girl KrisSimsters and while I’m currently working on my BoJack Horseman season four overview, I happened to watch the season premiere episode of South Park last night and damn…we need to talk about it. And honestly, I was trying to figure out whether talk about the whole review or just one of the episode’s plotlines and after watching it again just now–I was watching it for screenshot purposes–and I decided it was best to talk about the episode plotline. This was the better choice because I’m going to head to bed as soon as I post this review and while the whole episode was stupid, this one plot-line pissed me the fuck off. And the worst part is that the episode started off so strong, but then within the span of 30 minutes, it continuously started dropping more and more. So lets talk about the Heidi/Cartman plot.
For those of you who don’t know–or remember–the last time I reviewed a South Park episode–before work started to get too intense–it was Skank Hunt. Skank Hunt was one of my favorite South Park episodes in a long time and it was what sparked the Heiman movement of season 20. I loved Heiman for the whole season, but I knew they weren’t going to last that long. They were going to last one season and I even knew that when they were going to come back last night, they shouldn’t have been together. Even if the season revolves around one continuous arc, everything sort of resets by the new season. Even Matt and Trey said that they weren’t going to do a continous story arc this season, most of the fandom is getting tired of them and I’m probably one of the few who still likes the serialized episodes because continuity is my drug as a writer.
So when I saw Heidi enter the picture during the beginning shot, I was honestly kind of pissed. I mean honestly look at this beginning shot:
Cartman is clearly happy being with the guys again, but as soon as Heidi enters the picture, his face instantly falls, making him more of an asshole that he needs to be. He’s been an asshole, yes, but he’s never been that much of an asshole. He’s never acted like that and to think that he’s probably been like that since season 20 ended just made me more pissed off. We’re supposed to say it’s a joke but it’s not. He’s making it act like she’s in the wrong and that’s not the case, she just entered the fucking room. He no longer sees her as a smart, funny woman like he did in season 20, that role belongs to Alexa now.
I honestly do not want to get into the whole Alexa plot line because it kinda has its own way with the whole Randy and Darryl arc and yeah…that’s just stupid enough on its own. But what I will say is that Cartman’s love with Alexa plays into that whole “every man loves technology more than an actual woman” role and I don’t like that either. If you want to see a really good example of that, then watch Her. It plays it really well and while I believe Matt and Trey tried to imitate that movie, it didn’t work that well in their favor. Anyway, Cartman’s repulsive attitude towards Heidi makes him believe that Heidi is mentally abusing him and that is the part that pisses me off.
Do you not see the small tear in his eye, that’s how he convinces the guys that he’s the one who’s being mentally abused and not Heidi. Not the girl who wanted to try everything in her power to save their relationship, while she probably cried herself to sleep at night, but her boyfriend. Yes, this proves that Cartman is manipulative, but we’re supposed to believe that Heidi is the bad girl and not Cartman. Again, I do not want to talk about the whole episode, but Cartman is separated from his “technology love” but he reunites with her…and all her friends soon after and locks himself in his room, playing with them.
Heidi meanwhile wants to give this relationship one last try before Cartman inevitably dumps him and–yes he does dump her in his own way–so she goes to Mrs. Cartman while Cartman is in his room, playing with his toys. This is fucking pointless because we all know by now that Lianne is not the brightest light bulb in the box. She literally says one thing but ends up doing the next.
She even says that she thinks she’ll remember all that, but we all know that she won’t. She probably just went back to fixing Cartman more food, seeing if that will pry him out of his room. Heidi knows this relationship is dead, but she wanted to save it because it’s the kind of person she is. Also, if the writers somehow fuck up new Heidi because of Cartman’s abuse, then I will scream.
So even though I hate this episode with a living passion, goddammit this scene was nice. Just Cartman along in the hallway with the way the lights were flashing on him, it was some nice animation. But yeah, the beauty of this scene just made the breakup even more ugly. Because, of course you know that Heidi is worst girlfriend in the world, Cartman needed his own support team to break up with her.
I just feel so fucking bad for her, like Cartman won, but this was one of the times he didn’t need to win. Yes, I know its only the first episode and hopefully Cartman will get what’s coming to him like he did in Skank Hunt, but he just destroyed that girl and as a huge Cartman fan…I can’t defend him on this. This is abuse, yes, but not towards Cartman. Heidi did nothing wrong, in fact she tried to save him and their relationship and what does she get in return, she gets shitted on.
The guys act like they didn’t learn from last season and hell, we don’t even see Stan and Kyle anymore after the first five minutes when Heidi comes over. They knew what Cartman was going to do to Heidi and her character and they just stepped out the spotlight. I cannot defend Cartman after this. I can’t. And honestly, it’s going to take a lot for me to watch the next episode next week.
My name’s KrisSimsters and Stay Golden.
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